HUSBANDS: This Is Why Your Wife Doesn't Want To Have Sex

Link: => tiafiruguc.nnmcloud.ru/d?s=YToyOntzOjc6InJlZmVyZXIiO3M6MzY6Imh0dHA6Ly9iYW5kY2FtcC5jb21fZG93bmxvYWRfcG9zdGVyLyI7czozOiJrZXkiO3M6NDM6IldoeSBkb2VzbnQgbXkgd2lmZSB3YW50IHRvIGhhdmUgc2V4IHdpdGggbWUiO30=


Guess at this point giving up is only thing left. We love hearing from men like you! I don't think it's going to get them anywhere but it just might, who knows. You really can experience deeper intimacy and a more loving relationship.

This lasted for years, more than a decade until one day she was diagnosed with breast cancer. I would workout at home in front of Finn in his little swing contraption.

HUSBANDS: This Is Why Your Wife Doesn't Want To Have Sex

A support group for Redditors who are coping with a relationship that is seriously lacking in sexual intimacy. Advice is always appreciated, just don't be surprised if we've heard it all. Link is to video discussing the book. Maybe it will make a difference for your partner. We are all part of the moderation team - please report comments that break the community rules. The mods try to be omniscient, but we spend a lot of time playing Free Cell and truffle hunting - during those times reporting comments is a community service. Be civil, and try to maintain an even tone. We're all human beings on the other side of the screen. We can call this the 'simple human decency' rule. Your wife doesn't want you because you aren't any good in bed. Comments should be supportive and constructive. All women are manipulative bitches. It is against the rules, and likely to result in a no-warning ban. This includes posting links to, etc. First, red pill immediately implicates Rule 3 and Rule 6. Second, anything unique to redpill is almost certainly misogynist and unscientific, and anything useful in red pill improve yourself, set reasonable boundaries, leave a relationship that isn't satisfying you, what people want and what they say they want aren't necessarily the same is not unique to red pill. Finally, if you want to talk red pill. If you have an issue with a poster or comment that you think is borderline against the rules or violating the spirit of the community, then please explaining your issue. We will respond to you and we can have a conversation about that. If your post isn't showing, please and we'll see if it is caught in the spam filter. My wife and I average sex once every month and you can tell it's just duty sex on her part. Three years ago, my wife was obese. She is 5'4 and at that point, she was 230 lbs. I still found her very attractive but she wasn't having any of it. She started going to the gym and 18 months later, she's down 90 lbs and looks better than ever. I'm a runner, so I run 3x a week total of 5-6 why doesnt my wife want to have sex with me and right now I am 6'2, 178 lbs. Lately, she's been dropping the words buff, muscular, huge arms, etc when talking on the phone to her friends about certain people. I made a Craigslist personal ad. Title was Married, good looking, and ripped Found a picture of a fitness model, cropped the face out and uploaded the picture in the ad. My wife never checks out Craigslist, so I then made a fake email account and emailed her from it linking the ad. It took two days, but she responded to the ad. Says she has never done anything like this but has also never been with a guy like that. I made a google voice account and we start texting. She says that I'm a good guy, wonderful husband and father, but the reason we never have sex is because I don't look like him. She seems a bit nervous but does want to meet him. I know I opened a can of worms here but I felt I needed to do something. I could understand if I was obese and needed to lose weight. Any skinnier and people will be concerned about my health. This is the body of a guy that never has a cheat meal, works out 3 times a day. I am in great shape, like the way I look. I shouldn't have to be him in order for my wife to have sex with me. Something has gone wrong with your wife. I don't think I want to sleep with him anymore. I hope this is harmless fantasy, just her proving to herself that she is still attractive. I've been left feeling so gross from rejection that yeah, I would love to know if any man could ever find me attractive objectively again. I can understand the temptation. But actually meet up for cheating. I suppose my suggestion is to let her think she's going to the why doesnt my wife want to have sex with me, and arrange to be able to see her email while she's gone. Let her think she's been stood up, then when she gets home confront her with some printed-out emails you found, say you know where she went. I wouldn't let on that you set all this up, honestly - for the reasons others have said. Give her enough rope to hang herself, see what she does. Don't give her any excuses like oh, I knew it was you all along, silly. If she strings the flirtation along but keeps finding excuses not to meet up - then she's just looking for an ego boost, not cheating. If she strings the flirtation along but keeps finding excuses not to meet up - then she's just looking for an ego boost, not cheating. But if she does go to the meetup, don't bother with the subtle stuff about arranging to see her emails. Meet her there with a rose, a pen, and a copy of Nolo Press Do it Yourself Divorce. Although I couldn't agree more with analysis of the mental and integral state of your Mrs. I would suggest you maintain your integrity and self respect. She will never respect you if you do not respect yourself. As much as your heart may be broken and your self esteem in shambles, put on a stiff upper lip. This means coming to terms with the possibility it may be time to move on and being ok with it or faking it for now at least. I would suggest meeting her for that date or waiting until she gets home and have an open and frank conversation with her. Ask her where she thinks this is going. Does she want to be in a open relationship. All things you may or may not want which is not the issue at the moment. It is an opportunity for you to figure out where she is at in terms of your relationship and using shame and element of surprise to your advantage. Once she has to face you knowing what she's done, show her a photo of her old obese self and remind her that you loved her enough and had enough self why doesnt my wife want to have sex with me and integrity to stay faithful even when she was far from your physical ideal. Then, suggest that she get some counseling and work more on her character and less on her body. I'm sorry : Learning hurtful truths about those we love is so painful. And disappointing : It's not your lack of physical attractiveness, it's her skewed sense of ego and entitlement. Don't let it get you down on yourself. This is something sexual and emotional you're dealing with. I remember when I caught my wife in an affair. I did the tearful thing of But look at all the awesome stuff we have in our family. I went down the line and described each of our three kids, the house, our memories. Instead I got blank face and a cold I know all of that response. She straight up didn't give a fuck. I didn't realize that she already had a big head start in demonizing me and rationalizing her decision. I agree with what you're saying, but this is about him demonstrating that she's not pulling one over on him, and he's going to decide what he wants in his life. I also believe that while she may act like she's angry or doesn't care about him or her family, she will be shitting bricks inside. I'm sorry for what you've been through, I know it well. I think you're right about her breaking up with why doesnt my wife want to have sex with me. Being an asshole is all fun and games until you have to look at yourself in the mirror. It's a wretched, awful pain than he'll go through, but he'll be better off without her. Her needy ego trumps her love for him. He'll always be looking over his shoulder and worrying that she's looking to stray : I hope she sees his upgrade one day when he's happy getting laid like tile and beyond caring. As uncomfortable as this scenario sounds it will teach her a hard and much needed lesson that you don't fuck over those who stood by you, loved and supported you even when you weren't at your best. If she doesn't, nothing of value was lost. And finds love with a woman that isn't so shallow a tick could cross without getting its' legs wet. I really don't think this is the best way to go. At best he'll make her feel bad and she'll resent the guy even more. At worst she'll be pissed about the stunt and will think she has a legitimate reason to break things off with him. Either way it looks like she doesn't want to be with him. Imo his best course of action is just to talk to her face to face and pressure her into giving him the answer he already knows. I don't think it's going to get them anywhere but it just might, who knows. Maybe she's just a bit frustrated. They could also try counseling but I highly doubt that will work either. First off, you could look like that guy and she probably still wouldn't be interested in you. She's attributing this guy's appearance as the reason she's attracted to him, but she's probably just interested in this fake guy because he's new, exciting, and showing interest in her. You could have sent an attractive guy with an average build and probably get the same result. Second, I know you said you have no interest in being that guy, but if you're already skinny you have a good foundation to start lifting because any muscle you put on will show right away. You honestly don't have to workout 3 times a day to get some good muscle showing. Lifting 2-3 times a week, within a year, you'd probably look great. You can build muscle mass, but if she's into body builders, it'll be difficult. But, in the event she does decide to break it off after coming clean about it, at least you'll have the confidence to find a new lady who respects you why doesnt my wife want to have sex with me truly does love you for you. I went from 6'2 262lbs to 182lbs and running all the time. I started lifting in addition to running. I'm no Arnold, but I am defined. I cut off all sex and affection. She has continued to gain weight. She is currently 5'6 and about 250lbs. She stopped weighing herself several years ago. Why do I have to work so hard and you get a pass. I had reached s place of acceptance and I will not go through all of the rejection and excuses again. Only you can decide if you can live with the situation. I've never thought myself shallow, but I think I am. I don't think I could do it man. My wife is desireable, she's pretty hot. She knows it and tries to leverage it. Shit is fucked up no less, mind you, but I don't think I could and never have been with a morbidly obese woman. While she judges you super critically and only opens up waning, after you got into pretty peak shape. I can still look toward myself at areas I'm a little underweight and dealing with some health issues. I'm pretty confident in my shape aesthetically, but I need to be healthier and stronger. Like I see areas I 'need' to improve and I look toward them like they could somehow help my toxic marriage. You've already done them though and your wife weighs more than twice my son's mother's weight, plus my son's weight while she is so picky you can only barely sometimes meet her standards. This I get, I'm kind of here now, was more here recently before some family health scares: I was preparing to leave. I don't know, I'm just shallow, I can't see the allure of pushing cushion. I can only think it for the same reason my wife does and did-- whenever I let her. I can only think it for the same reason my wife does and did-- whenever I let her. You don't let anyone do anything. The only exception is your kid. The only one you can control is you. Which in many ways seems a pity, I know. You are completely right and I intimately agree with your post. What I mean is this: accepted what I feel is unacceptable behavior and patterns. I didn't mean 'let her' act that way, I meant 'let her act that way' and accepted it- kept moving forward, didn't end the relationship. I mean all the interesting interplay of wearing different social masks, getting to know different people, flaunting ones stuff, and generally being in unique and challenging social situations. Going out with different cliques of friends, trying out hobbies, etc. Just maybe the wide air of possibility that exists for the unattached person. Being locked down in marriage means there are a lot of roles you dont get to play, such as, for example, the carefree, individualistic, unattached woman. That is an interesting and empowering role that her soul may long to play. It may be less about an unknown stranger's biceps and more about a desire to explore areas of herself that lie outside the bounds of the relationship. Maybe, probably, she wants to be alone. Maybe she wants to pine for a man again. Maybe she wants to be abused by a narcissistic asshole. Maybe a lot of her parts like to do what we could call self sabotaging and she hungers for situations where her needs wont be met, where she can get depressive, and dip into melancholia. It may sound ridiculous, but the soul can legitimately hunger for all these things. Even if a wiser person may have learned to prefer one over the other, and an emotionally healthy one may have avoided these backwaters altogether. These way-stations hold an attraction for many. I tried to describe that theoretical free-spirited woman from a compassionate perspective, but I would not advise that you prioritize understanding her in a compassionate way, since you are going to be the one that needs your own compassionate support in the coming months. This is perhaps the danger of getting involved in a ostensibly life-long committed relationship with a 21 year old person. The 'random walk' of their growth is likely to require, at some point, them breaking or trying to break each individual chain that binds them. Its unfortunate that you were reduced to such a binding link, but I think that is fate, and not her own small-minded selfishness. Its easy to dismiss her for desiring a muscular physique, but I don't even think that is the core of what this is about; more of a convenient red-herring and self-deception. What she most likely longs for is the music of the next arc of her personal development, calling her forward to leave the confines of your well-established, and thus unchallenging, bond, and to see what uncharted waters hold for her in the wider world. Each successive relationship holds an opportunity to shed the skin of previous years and experience something completely different - a thing made possible by the intervening growth period. I think if we keep this in mind, we can have some respect for her decision, even though it might not align with our own preferences and choices. And recognize that she is sabotaging the relationship, unconsciously, and there are probably perfectly good reasons for her doing so. Her soul might no longer desire the bond. I sincerely think that if you are still in a relationship with this woman four years from now, you will have done your own growth a disservice. We don't recognize what a blessing it is, when the wrong person walks away from us. But with time, I think we will. I think you should out her, out of principle, but what is your overall motive. You went through an awful lot of work to prove your suspicions. You need to be clear on your goal here. Or fact finding towards a solution where you are still together. If its 's 1 or 2 then you need to have your out planned and papers drafted before you tell her, otherwise those emails are going to disappear from her end even though you may have transcripts of yours. They will be evidence in the impending divorce proceedings. My guess, and this sounds terrible, but I think she settled when she met you and now thinks she can do better since she lost all of the weight. There is no reason to stay anymore. Arrange a meet, and when she gets there have Escape The Pina Colada Song playing on your phone. The fact that what you overheard gave you reason will not matter. At this point there's no easy or good way forward, anything you do is going to have some pain, possibly a lot. I'd print out the e-mail conversations between her and the guy and say to her, I'm sorry I felt the need to do what I did but that aside, it seems we've got some stuff to talk about. If she absolutely needs someone who looks like the guy to be turned on enough to have sex then it's better for both of you to let her go. Wow, I do not envy your situation at all. Since you did set her up I guess you need to give her the benefit of the doubt and talk to her, if anything for your own peice of mind. Although I would leave the bit about you baiting her out at first. If she asks what brought on these questions tell her the truth: You know her well enough to have seen the change in behaviour even without knowing the reason. She says that I'm a good guy, wonderful husband and father, but the reason we never have sex is because I don't look like him. For me, the relationship would be over. If that's not good enough for her, she knows where the door is. Talk to a lawyer and see what you can do to maximize your position in a divorce. The nudies might be a good idea-- it would prove she was serious about cheating and not just fantasizing about it. Depending on where you live, none of this might make any difference. But it would be good to document it in case she starts making up lies about you. I get the impression it's common to make up lies to sabotage the moral character of the opposing spouse in a divorce. Crazy story, and a clever idea. You found a way why doesnt my wife want to have sex with me get the truth out of her. I personally could not ever be with someone why doesnt my wife want to have sex with me wanted to have sex with other people unless you've done some horrible things to justify it, but it appears not. I would take advantage of your situation to buy you time while you get the divorce proceedings together, and give yourself the biggest financial edge possible. The trust is broken; I could never trust her again. But if you are the type that still wants to make things work, and you can handle knowing these truths. I guess you could try to get ripped at the gym. It will take a little work, but it's very possible for skinny guys to bulk up. You of course will have to live with the knowledge of her being how shallow she is, has no loyalty, etc. It seems like marriage counseling is absolutely necessary, and you should make it an early-on goal to figure out if she honestly wants to save the marriage. If she isn't willing to work on it, it wont work. I feel like this is sooo common on this sub. Seems like this is a big issue about the myth of control and fear of vulnerability. So they feel like it's a massive taboo to even consider it. People pretend to themselves that they can control their attraction or lack of it as if was some kind of career goal, even though you often have no control over it. There why doesnt my wife want to have sex with me the possibility that she is just playing out a fantasy. Though I would be interested to know what prompted her to start going to the gym in the first place, was there some change in your relationship or did it just happen randomly one day. If she has been a regular gym-goer she will be seeing guys that are built like Kong all the time, so maybe this is nothing more than a bit of playfulness that would never result in her actually going to meet this fictitious person. You may want to see just how far she wants to take this, though if it is evident that she wants to go further with this then you need to confront her about it. You run 3x a week for about 45 mins or so. You want your wife to desire you sexually. That is a pretty good motivator right. If lifting, instead of running, is what it will take to get her to desire you why can't you link those two. The desire to have her sexually want you, provides the desire to lift instead of running. The anger you feel at being rejected is true to be sure, the defiance in you from this anger is making you not want to have to lift in order to get that desire, which is fair enough. Except, you know the reality of the situation. She eventually meets someone like that and leaves you, or cheats. Find someone who desires the runner. However, if you lift and get buff she may at first have that desire, then it may dissipate once it becomes a 'normal' thing. You have to continuously work to keep that spark. At least you know your wife has that potential in her. Oh also, the things she would do in that 'get-a-way' with the buff guy. I'm gonna suggest the opposite and folks here are gonna rip me apart but here goes. If u approach her about the ad, she's gonna know she hurt you and that yep I said it, u aren't hot enough for me bullshit. I'm more of a bitch, and I think you need to inflict the blow. Tell her you want out cuz she just doesn't do it for you anymore and that while u appreciate her efforts in getting back in shape, you need a woman who is more. What ever you say more intelligent, more caring, more sexual, more fit whatever. Don't let her feel like she won this shit. She's a piece of shit and deserves whatever u dish out.

I should describe my husbands cane he carved and uses. It starts with a safe, loving chat and tender touching. Eventually, I woke up and realized that I had a good guy that I married. Sometimes giving space helps, but for the spouse who wants to avoid the issue, it just gives them more breathing space to stay apart and away from sexual intimacy. A therapist may not only be able to help you deal with your own issues pertaining to sex, but may also help you find non-threatening ways to talk about them with your husband.