Are You A Pathological Liar?

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What function are your lies serving? The truth doesn't matter to narcissists When you don't care about other people, lies don't seem to matter. It's very difficult to get by lying to a good therapist.

You need to look out for your best interest. Their lies are deteriorating the trust between you two. What's important is that you cared enough to worry about your situation and question yourself. We start having secrets, hiding or manipulating facts and developing strategies.

Why people are compulsive liars

In this Article: A pathological liar is someone who compulsively tells lies or fabricates information out of habit. They may not be completely rooted in reality, believing the lies they tell, often in an effort to remedy low self-esteem. To spot a pathological liar, pay attention to their behavior and body language, such as excessive eye contact. Also, listen for any inconsistencies in their stories. Problems like substance abuse and a history of unstable relationships are all additional indications someone may be a pathological liar. Consider the nature of suspected lies. You may come to suspect a friend, family member, or co-worker is habitually stretching the truth. Pick apart the suspected lies and consider what they have in common. Pathological liars may lie to gain sympathy, boredom, or insecurity. Part of the reason the pathological liar feels compelled to lie is because he or she may feel as though being in spotlight has eluded them. This person feels that he or she should be the center of everyone's universe and will do what he or she can to make it happen. Upon tasting the spotlight it becomes self-reinforcing and the lies grow bigger each time just to keep on being the center of attention. They may tend to exaggerate or make up pains and illnesses, for example, or exaggerate small issues in their lives to ridiculous proportions in order to gain sympathy from anyone within earshot. They may lie to make themselves look more important than they truly are. They may exaggerate accomplishments in personal or professional areas in order to make their lives seem impressive and worthy. In this case, they may be lying to convince themselves rather than to mislead you. They will fabricate events and make up lies to hurt others. This creates drama, alleviating boredom in the pathological liar's life. In order to keep up appearances, they may spin larger and more complicated lies. Listen for other people's stories being retold. Pathological liars may often get caught lying. Frequently, you may hear someone else's story retold as if it happened to a pathological liar. If something about a story sounds familiar to you, stop to consider whether you've heard that story before. They may also repeat stories from movies or television shows. The stories may be embellished slightly in the pathological liar's version. Later, you see a similar story on the news. If your co-worker is a pathological liar, they may very well have lifted the story from the news and presented it as their own. Observe whether the person dodges questions. When confronted, a pathological liar may find a way to avoid answering a question. Pathological liars are manipulative by nature, so you may think they've answered something when they really why am ia compulsive liar failed to do so. You've been having issues getting along with this friend, and wonder whether her relationship difficulties may be a pattern for her. You ask her something like, Why did you and Why am ia compulsive liar stop talking. She's not really answering the question. She may dodge more direct questions. For example, you ask her something like, Did you used to blow off Eliza the way you blow me off a lot. She may reply with something like, Do you really think I'm that kind of person. Pathological liars are experts at manipulating others. They tend to study others to find ways to divert their attention away from their lies. Pay attention to how a pathological liar interacts with you. You may detect subtle manipulation. If you're attracted to the suspected pathological liar, they may flirt with you when confronted why am ia compulsive liar their lies. Pathological liars have a good sense of which people will believe which lies. They may realize, for example, you will not believe lies about sickness, but may believe lies about emotional problems. If you hear the liar talking to someone else, they may fabricate claims of aches and pains but not mention these ailments to you. See how a person reacts when caught lying. No two pathological why am ia compulsive liar are the same. However, most of them will react aggressively when caught in a lie. If someone seems to get angry in response to accusations of lying, you may be dealing with a pathological liar. They may blame someone else for their lies. For example, The only reason I had to make that up was because our boss is so difficult. For example, No, I did use that money to get the car fixed, but I also used half of it to pay for those groceries. I forgot to tell you I stopped at the store. They may become angry and begin yelling, or start crying in order to elicit sympathy. Consider their mental health history. Lying can be associated with some mental health issues, such as borderline personality disorder, depression, bipolar disorder, and narcissistic personality disorder. If you are close to this person, you may be able to learn about their history of associated mental health issues and encourage them to get the right help. Are they only lying in certain circumstances. Do they try to reinvent themselves or impress others with their lies. Are they lying to avoid talking about certain situations. Many people assume pathological liars refrain from making eye contact. While typical liars may dodge eye contact, this is not usually the case for a pathological liar. Instead, you may notice too much eye contact. This is the pathological liar's attempt to look believable. It's normal to look away on occasion in conversation. Why am ia compulsive liar pathological liar, however, will stare you in the eyes for as long as you talk. A pathological liar's pupils may dilate slightly, and they may also blink slowly. Notice if someone seems too relaxed. When normal people lie, they may fidget excessively and show other signs of nervousness. In contrast, a pathological liar feels little remorse over lying. Therefore, they may seem almost too relaxed when lying. Pathological liars may actually appear quite sociable and laid back. Even when you know someone is lying, they may not demonstrate typical signs of distress or nervousness. Later, during downtime, the suspected pathological liar repeats the same story, as if it happened to them. They tell the story without any signs of distress or agitation and seem at ease with themselves. If you didn't know better, you would have no trouble believing the story. Pay attention to the tone of voice. Small changes in vocal tone may indicate lying. While not all pathological liars change their tone, some may. A shift in vocal tone, in conjunction with other symptoms, may indicate someone is a pathological liar. A pathological liar's voice may get higher or lower when lying. The stress from telling lies may cause adrenaline or the constriction of vocal chords, leading to an increased need for water. While pathological liars may not demonstrate typical body language when lying, they may display a fake smile. Smiles are very difficult to fake successfully, so pay attention to their mouths. With a genuine smile, you will notice changes in the entire face. The corners of someone's eyes typically crinkle. With a fake smile, the only noticeable change is near the mouth. Avoid jumping to conclusions about unusual body language. Sometimes, odd body language is a sign of a liar. For example, eye contact is considered rude in some cultures and polite in others. Notice how that person tends to act, and consider alternative explanations. They may unwittingly stare a lot or avoid eye contact altogether. This isn't a sign of lying, just a sign of being different. Look for underlying secret habits. If this person has a problem with substance abuse, gambling, binge eating, or other destructive behaviors, there's a good chance they're a pathological liar. You may see them filling up their drink when no one else is at the bar, or even notice them carrying a flask. They may be very secretive about eating habits, and habitually turn down offers to get food with co-workers. Consider whether the person lives in reality. Pathological liars are often disconnected with reality. A lot of times, they may believe parts of their lies themselves. They may be deluded about themselves and their abilities. They may see something innocuous, like a compliment from a boss, as a sign of personal greatness. When recounting the compliment, they may fluff its importance. While this is not true of all pathological liars, consider the possibility that the person is not lying out of malice. Think about the person's relationships with others. Pathological liars tend to have unstable relationships. Consider anything you know about this person's relationship history. Look for any warning signs of instability. A lack of longterm friends, and a series of failed romances, may indicate a pathological liar. A pathological liar tends to bluff their way into jobs. A pathological liar may have many jobs on their resume. However, most of these jobs will be short term. They may also dodge questions about why certain jobs did not work out longterm. Most of the jobs will only have been short term. If you ask the pathological liar about their career, they may dodge questions. Pathological liars often burn bridges with employers. Just like any other person who may be a pathological liar, you personally cannot change who they are. However, as a parent you can speak to your adult child in as respectful way as possible and express your concerns. Plant the seed for self awareness, and offer up helpful mental health resources in your area. As a grown child of yours, it is up to them to be fully responsible and accountable for their actions. If it is to the point where it is disrupting you and others in the family, and other relationships are derailing, then perhaps you need to set clear boundaries with them as to what is and is not acceptable These mental health disorders are all part of the same group of disorders according to the manual that mental health professionals use to diagnose people. This group of mental health disorders includes narcissistic, antisocial, histrionic, and borderline personality disorders. Sociopathic behaviors fall under antisocial disorders. Make an honest attempt to reach out to your friends and tell them how you feel. Explain to them from your own perspective what the truth is. You will quickly learn the true colors of those people who choose to believe you and stick around on your behalf, and those who you may just need to let go. Ultimately it is their responsibility to change their ways. However, you can be of support to guide them to healthy appropriate mental health resources if they are ready to accept and make a change for the better. I'd advise you to reach out to your human resources department or a counselor. If your workplace has an Employee Assistance Program, they will likely be able to provide you with some counsel and resources to reach out to a qualified mental health professional who could help you. In the meantime, try to avoid this individual as much as you can. You need to look out for your best interest. It is understandable that this is a distressing situation since she is currently not at the ready state to even make a change, or taking responsibility for her own actions. At times we have to let people go, and experience the challenges of life on their own, and until she is accepting of her issues with drug addiction and taking accountability for it, she will not make any change. You will need to learn why am ia compulsive liar difference between truly helping someone and enabling which will only encourage them to spiral down into the rabbit hole. Seek out the assistance of a support group, or a mental health and addictions counselor to get appropriate coping skills for your current situation. Point out a few of your own awesome screw ups and failures in life. This may explain the short relationships and work. The person may be guarded in that area and won't want to discuss it directly. In fact, you may have a very hard time getting this person to accept that their lying is even a problem, let alone something in need of therapy. The information I was looking for was very easy to locate and understand because it was short, concise, direct, and why am ia compulsive liar informative as well. I was also grateful to find a site that was focused on answering my questions instead of just trying to sell me an insurmountable number of overpriced, unnecessary tools that I'm not interested in at all; such as membership fees or free trials. Brilliant, everything fell into place. I knew it was this but could not put it into words. Now I know for sure he was out to confuse me mentally. He is 23 and will have to leave. I need time to figure out how to make him get help as he has refused. I am 71, very alert, though he tries to make me think otherwise. Excellent tool for self diagnosis. I am crazier than ever before. If I can recognize a behavior only then can I change it. I am clean and sober for 7 years now. I still tell little lies and struggle to understand why so I can remedy the behavior and continue to learn and grow spiritually. I have seen people become like this. Before he became like this, he wasn't an intelligent man. He made me wonder how he became smarter than before. He lied me that he's an owner of a company. Finally I found that he's a psychiatric patient. He's my friend and I want to help him.

Perhaps they can reflect with you afterwards on what happened and why. They prefer to tell lies and gain control over people than be honest. Lying is their normal reflexive way of reacting to questions. As a grown child of yours, it is up to them to be fully responsible and accountable for their actions. Pathological liars are manipulative and cunning and lie to achieve their goals without caring about hurting the feelings of others. All you can do is gradually lead her to the point where she feels the need to look into her compulsion.